The All-Princess Rap Battle of Equestria
by TheSheraChampion
Summary: This is the untold story of the All-Female All-Princess Rap Battle of Equestria, the land where She-Ra and the Princesses of Power takes place. No one has ever known about it until now...


Adora gasped for air. "Gasp!" she cried. Despite all her training, she had run out of breath on the longest bar of her freestyle that she was preparing for the All-Princess Rap Battle of Equestria. "Haha," Catra snorted. It was unlike Adora to be so careless and mediocre in her rapping skill.

"Let's see you try it, if it's so funny!" Adora gasped. She and Catra had become friends since the last big fight outside the castle... and maybe more. There was so much going on these days. "Fine," Catra said, "I will."

They stood in the practice room in Catra's garage, where Catra had to sleep after Hordak had complained about all the noise from the practices. Catra had been studying Eminem's freestyle technique where he put cut-up phrases into a hat, so she was getting a lot better since the last big battle. She started to spit hard.

Yo, yo, one-two

Yo, I've been bad since the first step

Never had nobody, I was worst kept

And closing off the feelings made it hurt less

'cause worthlessness crept into the cavity of my chest

Most slept on but still repped

By the one and only one who can't forget

That even a villainess could switch sets

Stay pepped and guess at the secret of my success

Adora gasped. There was no way, with this display of skill from Catra, that she could stand up at the All-Princess Rap Battle. But she decided to keep calm and carry on even though times were tough. Catra had broken a sweat and was looking up with a little catty smirk at Adora, who was sweating for another reason.

"N-Not bad, I guess," Adora stuttered. She tugged on the lapels of her signature red coat nervously as Catra laughed at her again brashly. "Not bad? I was way better than that!" Catra guffawed.

"It could have been better," Adora said firmly. But she wasn't really sure about that. Nobody in Equestria could rap better than Catra, as far as she knew. Even the scorpion woman - Scorpia - wasn't even close to being a match. But Adora wanted to win, because Catra had beaten her so many times before. It was incredible how many times Catra had beaten her, thinking about it.

"Whatever," Catra frowned. "I'm gonna go get ice cream or something. You practice your breathing some more before you have to go to the hospital."

There was a real kind of smoke in the distance that Adora had been looking at, out the garage window. A plume of gray that kind of reminded her of something, someone, but she couldn't remember. All she could remember was that the rap battle was coming up and she still wasn't ready. She still couldn't spit off the dome very well, and her rhymes weren't there yet. It didn't sound like Eminem at all. It was more like some bad trap rap that you would hear on the radio, honestly.

The garage was really dirty once Catra left to get ice cream. It was really dirty and that smoke in the distance kept getting bigger in Adora's mind, even when she wasn't looking at it. There was so much happening.

Soon enough, after a lot more practice, it came time for the rap battle. All the princesses were there. You had Scorpia, Catra, Adora, Entrapta (who had a robotic flow some people compared to vintage MC Frontalot), Glimmer and the princesses of the snow, the forest and the oceans. They all arrived in the ice palace where they'd once danced together so romantically, but this time, it was all about competition.

"Haha," Scorpia laughed loudly into the room from the throne. "You guys really think you can beat me and Catra?" By this point, the pillar of smoke was still out in the distance at about the same distance away. But it was like Scorpia had completely forgotten that Catra and her had broken up as teammates after Scorpia had stolen her phone like a little loser and traitor. That made Catra super mad, which Adora understood. Only Adora ever really understood Catra, Catra realized.

"I'm not your teammate!" Catra screamed. Suddenly everyone got really quiet and you could hear ice melting and dripping from the ceiling. "I never want to see you again! In fact, I think we should battle right now and see who really deserves to even join this competition!" Scorpia was shocked. She held up Catra's phone from her pocket and held it out to her. "Is this about the phone?" Scorpia asked. "I'm really sorry I took it. Mine was broken and Devin wouldn't let me use his."

"I don't care about that!" Catra screamed. "Let's do this!"

Scorpia stood up boldly from the throne. "Fine," she said resolutely. "There's no way I'm going to let you talk to me like that after all we've been through." Scorpia had her mic tossed to her by Entrapta, who was upside-down and hanging off a big icicle that kind of looked like it was freezing her. "Thanks, Entrapta," she said to Entrapta.

Scorpia stared Catra down, since Catra was at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the throne. Scorpia started to spit slowly, then increasingly hard as she went. This was what it meant to be the reigning champion of the Equestrian rap battle.

Yo, they say it stings when your friends betray you

But I gotta say you won't remember a thing after I inflame you

'cause I'm poisonous, you must've never heard of us

'cause me and my clique is known as cold-blooded murderas

Look, I'm sorry, aight, your phone's right there

But let's recount the times you needed me while you were in despair

I was there for you, a hearing ear for you, but who's in disrepair

Now? Look at you, I hear you live in a garage (that's right)

I live in a palace, b, and thanks to Hordak I be living large

You got some ripped purp' tights, I got an entourage

You some good guy's pet, but I be breaking bad till Hordak back in charge

The crowd gasped at Scorpia's savage flows and whip-tight rhymes. Even Adora gasped. But Catra, while sweating a little, only smirked cattily. The beat kept playing - today they were rapping along to "Grindin' " by Clipse. Adora had been strapped against the wall with ropes and other things, but she was able to toss Catra a microphone by wriggling one hand free, just barely. Catra caught it with a little sound.

"You done?" Catra purred. Adora had a sock in her mouth, so she couldn't speak, but she still made a little sound to cheer Catra on. Catra crouched down yakuza-style. "Aight, let's see how you like it, sister," she roared. The beat changed to Dr. Dre's classic for "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem.

First up, who are you? Tryna scare me with your pointy tail

I'll have you know that I'll impale any male or female

Who steps to me, rest in peace, I'll send your soul to hell at the count of three

When I spit disease 'bout, "Why didn't Devin call? Why's he mean to me?"

Girl, please, only thing inflamed is his love for me (ohhhh)

And his lips after I bite 'em while we gettin' free, oh

Didn't you know? Our little secret. Devin likes the catty aftertaste

And I like his aftershave (Old Spice)

Yeah, smells nice when we're swapping pleghm like it's a sick bay

Guess what today is? Caturday, like every day, queen

Ya knaw wha'mean?

Scorpia was fighting back tears of rage. Suddenly all of Devin's behavior was making sense to her. She couldn't believe it, yet she had to. Scorpia gripped her mic harder and harder until it shattered in her claws. The crowd was silent, but then erupted in applause at the spectacle. No one had ever seen rapping like this in all of Equestria, and the show hadn't even really started yet. Scorpia slouched away in defeat.

Adora was missing by this point. It was hard to keep track of everything that was going on, but Adora was definitely missing. Entrapta had gotten off the icicle and started to look out the front door, out into the distance. Nobody knew what that was about, either, but it seemed like Adora might be out there somewhere. She'd said something about getting untied and finding out about the smoke, but no one could really understand her with the sock in her mouth.

"You like that, bug girl?" Catra screamed as she stood up from the yakuza pose. But Scorpia was already long gone out of the room. The only real challenger left was Glimmer, who was known to have a very mainstream flow compared to the classic lyricism that competitors like Catra were bringing to the table. Glimmer knew that she couldn't let Adora down after everything that had happened, and decided to level up. No more pop rap... she was going old school.

"Let's do this," Glimmer said in her husky voice. "This one's for Adora."

"Adora is all mine!" Catra said. "Either as friends or... something more than that." Catra had had to start second in the Scorpia battle, so the referee in his black-and-white stripes decided that she got to go first this time. Those were the rules. Catra held up the mic with a cocky smirk. But just as she was about to spit, she looked out the window behind her, and the smoke was out there. It was still out there, the same way it had been. Why?

"I know where Adora went," Glimmer said firmly. All eyes turned to her. Especially Catra's, when she turned her head. "Where did she go?" Catra demanded.

Glimmer pointed out at the smoke. Up there, you could make out just a little red, like the red of the signature red jacket. Somewhere up there, almost like a funnel cloud, it was being carried into the heavens by a force that no one really understood, but may not necessarily have been evil, if you really thought about it.


End file.
